I must have stared at it for a while. I mean, it had a really weird look about it- a sad lost sort of look. The Lost Thing was an enormous, mechanical structure, that had long, light-green tentacles buried in the silky, smooth sand. It’s crab-like claws were as snappy as a crocodile, but as we played ball games throughout the day, it became polite and friendly.
WWW Your work was great because you had BOYS conjunctions and commas.
EBI You used some more punctuation in your work.